It is amazing how quickly things change. This photo was taken one week prior to Kyli being diagnosed with diabetes. Kyli was healthy and carefree. It is amazing how one word can change your whole world, FOREVER. I look at Kyli and I see so much. The one thing I hate seeing is diabetes. It will NOT stop Kyli from doing anything she wants, but it may slow her down a bit, sometimes. That angers me so much and I cry for her. She will never know the luxury of eating anything you want and not worrying about it. She will be counting carbs her whole life and it won't be because she wants to lose weight or be healthier, it will be because she has to.
One thing that sticks out in my mind is how we view candy. Candy used to be a treat for potty training or just because. That has for the most part been eliminated and the candy is now a sugar booster. What makes me so sad is that, usually now when she is eating candy, she is having a bad low and is inhaling it due to necessity rather than enjoying it, she is semi-incoherent. Mike disagrees with me on this, and I am okay with that. Every now and again, Kyli gets a treat just because, but for the most part it is necessity and she is usually shaking and needs help. While we still are not feeling the full diabetes, what we are getting is enough.
I do not want you to feel as though we are feeling sorry for ourselves or Kyli. I just want you to know our changes and how I feel sometimes. Kyli is doing amazing still!! She does not cry for sugar checks or shots. She just does it and moves on. She is my hero, my inspiration. She will never know any different than what she gets, becuase she will not remember anything before having diabetes. While that is great for her, I still know the difference and it makes me sad. Everyday though, I look at her and think, she is going to do amazing things and I want her to show the world that nothing and no one can stop her.
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